If you would like to shush a friend:
"Peace, good pint-pot."
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)
If you would like to shush a friend:
"Peace, good tickle-brain."
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)
When you disapprove of the company your son is keeping, you may take the time to ask him gently:
“Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that grey Iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in years?”
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)
If you are dining at a brothel and would like to call your friend a liar, you could most certainly say:
“There’s no more faith in thee than in a stewed prune.”
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 3, Scene 3)
If your friend called you a liar and you would like to make fun of them for being thin:
“You starvelling, you dried neat’s-tongue, you stock-fish–O for breath to utter what is like thee!"
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)
When one is dining with a favorite prostitute and she remarks on a friend’s good intelligence, you could say:
“Hang him, baboon. His wit’s as thick as Tewksbury mustard.”
Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 4)
When one is dining with a favorite prostitute and she remarks on a friend’s good intelligence, you might follow up with:
“There’s no more conceit in him than is in a mallet”
Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 4)
If a disgusting man at your job is making digs at you, you might say:
“I scorn you, scurvy companion.“
Henry IV Part 2 (Act 2, Scene 4)
If you’re enjoying tormenting the waiters at the bar, and your ridiculous friend barges in and recants the most obvious lies possible, you might as well call him:
“Thou clay-brained guts, thou knotty-pated fool, thou whoreson obscene greasy tallow-catch!”
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4 )
If you should observe a young Shepard pursuing the hand of a shepherdess who really should, to abate a life of loneliness, accept his advances, maybe say to her...
“I must tell you friendly in your ear, sell when you can, you are not for all markets.”
As You Like It (Act 3 Scene 5)
When a woman follows you into the woods and will not stop professing her love to you no matter how much you ask her to leave, tell her...
“I am sick
when I do look on thee.“
A Midsummer Night’s Dream (Act 2, Scene 1)
When you meet a man who you just really don’t like...
“Methink’st thou art a general offence and every man should beat thee.”
All’s Well That Ends Well (Act 2, Scene 3)
When someone won’t stop talking to you on the bus, you could say:
“More of your conversation would infect my brain.”
Coriolanus (Act 2, Scene 1)
When one’s laundry is fouling up the room, you could describe it as:
“The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril”
The Merry Wives of Windsor (Act 3, Scene 5)
If you have a mean friend, you could say:
“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.”
The Comedy of Errors (Act 5, Scene 4)
If a fellow coworker should imply that you are a beastly man, you might say:
“Away, you three-inch fool!"
The Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 1)
If you were the only one to show up for your your father-in-law’s funeral, and then were to be hit upon by a hideous man, one could not fault you for calling him:
“...unfit for any place but hell.”
Richard III (Act 1 Scene 2)
When you’re having a nice time going insane in the castle that you have acquired through murder, and your ranting is rudely disturbed by a servant, pallid from fear, it follows that you should say to him:
“Thou cream-faced loon.”
Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 3)
When being thrashed most brutally by a bully, it might be of some recompense to yourself if you were to say:
“Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows.“
Troilus and Cressida (Act 2, Scene 1)
If you have a sibling who might be asking just a little too much of you, tell them:
“Thy sin’s not accidental, but a trade.”
Measure For Measure (Act 3, Scene 1)
When you lose all your money through extreme philanthropy, and an old jerk comes by to say “I told you so” you might say:
“Were I like thee, I’d throw away myself."
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
When you lose all your money through extreme philanthropy, and an old jerk comes by to say “I told you so” you might say:
“If thou wilt curse, thy father, that poor rag, must be thy subject, who in spite put stuff to some she-beggar and compounded thee poor rogue hereditary. Hence, begone.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
When you lose all your money through extreme philanthropy, and an old jerk comes by to say “I told you so” you might say:
“Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
When you lose all your money through extreme philanthropy, and an old jerk comes by to say “I told you so” you might say:
“All villains that do stand by thee are pure.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
When you lose all your money through extreme philanthropy, and an old jerk comes by to say “I told you so” you might say:
“I’ll beat thee, but I should infect my hands.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
When you lose all your money through extreme philanthropy, and an old jerk comes by to say “I told you so” you might say:
“Thy back, I prithee.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
When you see a formerly-wealthy nemesis reduced to utter penury (penuriousness) and would like to deride him it would be within reason to say:
“Thou art the cap of all the fools alive.”
Timon of Athens (Act 4, Scene 3)
If you feel someone is beneath you and want to demean them you could call them:
“Thou crusty botch of nature!”
Troilus and Cressida (Act 5, Scene 1)
If you are introduced to someone you find disgusting you could say:
“Thou art a very ragged wart.”
Henry IV Part 2 (Act 3, Scene 2)
If you can’t stand your friend’s stupidity any longer:
“This bed-presser, this horse-backbreaker, this huge hill of flesh.“
Henry IV Part 1 (Act 2, Scene 4)
If you’re calling your wife a liar:
“Heaven truly knows that thou art false as hell.”
Othello (Act 4, Scene 2)
If you can’t stand your friend’s stupidity any longer and you need it to really sting:
“Villain, I have done thy mother”
Titus Andronicus (Act 4, Scene 2)
"Thou crusty botch of nature!"
Troilus and Cressida (Act 5, Scene 1)
"Thou mountain of mad flesh!"
Comedy of Errors
"Thy elvish-mark'd abortive, rooting hog!"
Richard III
"Thou mangled half-faced minnow!"
Unknown
"Thou puny pox-marked blind worm!"
Unknown
"You, minion, are too saucy!"
Two Gentlemen of Verona
"Thou frothy rampallian pumpion!"
Unknown
"Thou fobbing brazen-faced maggot pie!"
Unknown